you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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