My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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