Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
