Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
