i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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