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I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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