He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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