i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
