just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Alive.
So much puke
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
