i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
