so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
