I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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