white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
only if we run a train.
done.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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