I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
