he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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