I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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