Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
