It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize