the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
That's how pantless uber rides happen
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
