not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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