in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
