no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize