No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
