hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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