From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
