ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
