There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
