The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
