let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
