making cat noises will not fix the situation.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize