I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
