it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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