i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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