brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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