Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
