You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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