i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
