This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
They are going to name an STD after you.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
