wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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