Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
