mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
