That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
