No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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