I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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