We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
