yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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