sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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