i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
