Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
