if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
