I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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