What a fucking waste of an outfit
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
