Will you blow on my dice?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
