god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Boobs are out for the taking
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
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