How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
