So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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