I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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