he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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