i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
