Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize