I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
That accounts for only three of the penises
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
