The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
