We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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