i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
