am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
