Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize