We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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