The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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