Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
