PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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