I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
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