She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
