As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
