I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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