how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
True strength comes from lack of pants
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