The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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