I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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