As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
