The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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