I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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