i can't believe i had my finger in that
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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