before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
