I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
