if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
