Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
